What to do When People Comment on What You’re Eating
"A cheeseburger without a bun??! That's un-American!"… "Come on, just eat the cookie!"… "One bite isn't gonna kill you!"… "Oh you're being so good!"… "Are you on a(nother) diet?"… Sound familiar? You might be getting this from your co-workers, family members, or friends. Food police and food pushers are something you’re going to have to get comfortable with to have a sustained healthy lifestyle. And you will! Here are five ways you can to deal with people commenting about what you’re eating.
Acceptance.
All we have to do is look at social media to realize that people want to share their opinions about absolutely. everything. This is just a reality. Accept that it’ll never completely go away and that everyone has different opinions about eating and health. And as with social media, sometimes the best response is no response because this person doesn’t engage in healthy discussion.
Also accept the truth that you’re strong and capable of sticking with healthy habits regardless of who’s around and what they’re saying (or eating). Be sure you’re not using others as a reason to say “this is too hard.” It’s not. It’s just something to get used to.
Finally, accept the fact that you can be a good boundary-setter and advocate for yourself (i.e. deciding for yourself what you’ll put in your body instead of caving to pressure; making it clear that your eating habits are your business; being ok with doing differently from others because your health is your priority). This is uncomfortable when we’re not used to being that way but that’s just a habit to be established and not a personality flaw.Practice the pause, breathe, and respond instead of reacting.
First of all, pausing will help you decide whether you actually do want the cookie this time or not. Maybe you do, and that’s fine! There is no such thing as perfect eating and you shouldn’t try to eat healthy 100% of the time. No one completely agrees on what’s healthy anyway! Feeling controlled by the urge to eat “perfectly” is a form of eating disorder called “orthorexia,” so please know that that’s not a healthy relationship with food.
I know you probably feel like you don’t even know how to decide you want an “unhealthy" food. After decades of diets telling you what you’re allowed to eat, what’s on & off plan, and how much and when you’re allowed to eat, we don’t know how to decide for ourselves anymore. And the addictive qualities of the processed foods we eat plus all the contradictory food theories have us paralyzed too!
It takes practice and time to get used to listening to your hunger & fullness and eating from a place of intention rather than constant cravings, food addiction or forbidden fruit / scarcity mentality. AND because so many people in our culture eat from cravings, addiction or scarcity mindset, of course they can’t fathom that you could actually not want a bun on your cheeseburger every single time.
Second, pausing will help you ground yourself in why you want to feed your body with respect and also help you remember the go-to phrases that you’ll have ready (below).If these comments are coming from someone safe, explain your individual, unique experience and your “why” and ask for their support.
You can say something like, “I was having so much trouble with my digestion and headaches and joint pain, and I found out it was from the food I was eating. I feel so much better since changing how I eat! No food is off-limits and I’m not doing diets anymore, but I know now how often I want to eat that without those symptoms coming back. Right now I don’t want any.”
You get the idea. Explain the symptoms you were having or how you were feeling. This neutralizes the discussion so it’s not about weight loss or judgment but just plain and simple health. A safe person will hear this and understand that you’re not trying anything extreme and they’ll want to support you and stop trying to tell you to eat the cookie.
Sometimes it’s hard to explain much in the moment, so if this is a person you’re with a lot and this kind of situation is going to keep coming up, definitely get in touch with them when you have plenty of time and preparation to talk, explain the changes you’re making and why, and tell them how much you’d value and want their support. Let them know you don’t want people to call attention to and question what you’re eating, or to try to coerce you to eat something. You know what you’re doing.If it’s not a safe person…
A lot of people are pushing food on you because they feel guilty or jealous that you’re able to make these changes but they haven’t. They’re stuck in diet mentality and upset that they haven’t been able to stick to healthy eating because diets have presented it at such a ridiculous extreme. Every time they see you turning something down it’s a reminder that they believe they can’t. Or they’re stuck in their ways and have trouble seeing any point of view besides their own.
As I said above, sometimes silence is the best response. Sometimes changing the subject works like a charm. Ask them a question that gets the attention off of the whole matter.
But if you feel like you have to answer, keep it very short and sweet. Depending on the situation, here are some phrases you can have ready:
”I really just don’t want any right now but thanks for offering!”
”Believe it or not, I just really don’t want any.”
”No thanks!”
”I’m good but thanks again!”
”I’m stuffed. I’ll take some home for later.” (and then you can throw it away)
”No it’s not a diet, I just feel so much better when I don’t eat as much of that.”
”I’m on a food plan from my doctor (or nutritionist, health coach) so I need to pass. But thanks!”
”My eating habits aren’t open for conversation.”
”My body, my choices.”
”You do you. I’ll do me.”Results speak for themselves and typically put an end to a lot of this.
If you’ve been dieting on & off for a long time or you’re just getting started on making changes that are different from what your friends and family are used to, they’re pretty likely to think it’s not gonna last or you don’t know what you’re doing or just not know how to deal with you in this way.
The longer you set boundaries, eat with consistency and joy, and it’s obvious that you feel great - not deprived - living a healthy lifestyle (e.g. exercising, hydration, good sleep habits, stress relief), people tend to just stop commenting. They’re used to you being this way now and it’s clear you know what you’re doing and you don’t feel deprived or miserable.
Thoughts? Which of these scenarios do you typically struggle with? Let me know in the comments!
If you need a squad of support to get used to things like this or guidance in creating this sustainable, empowering healthy lifestyle, be sure to book a call here so we can chat about our group program!
You got this sister!
♥ Debbie
